Doors and Flimsy Gates

God is so good.  So faithful.  And, unlike me, He doesn't waste time! After committing, just yesterday, to renewing my relationship with Jesus, I received a fantastic dream with multiple messages. 

As I laid in bed trying to soak up the details of my dream, while it was still fresh, I could vividly recall the event of a rescue.  I was in a building but turned to look out across a vast landscape.  Very far away, I could see a person who appeared to be drowning.  They were stuck in a cave like crevice and the waves kept washing over them.  I immediately knew I had to go help them.  I rushed there as fast as I could.  Along the way I saw another person heading in that direction, and another, and another.  By the time I reached the drowning victim, there must have been about 15 people there to help.  At first I thought, "wow, how many people does it take to help one person?"  It soon became clear that no ONE person could provide rescue on their own.  The circumstances were such that we had to make a human chain in order to pull this individual out of the water.  Upon realizing this, I said to the person, "wow, look at how many people God sent to help you.  He really loves you!"

I walked through this dream a few times and heard some great messages.  First of all, God sees us when we are "drowning",  when we are suffering and in need of help.  Not only that, but God sends us exactly what we need, and He knows what we need.  He didn't send one person, see that the task needed more and then call for back up.  I may have questioned why there were so many people there, but obviously I do not have God's vantage point and knowledge.  And although it's a familiar message, I love the reminder that together we can succeed where we may fail on our own.

Just as I was smiling at all the wonderful things God had shown me, I felt a nudge to take a look at the dream again.  I was missing something. I heard Him say, "where did it start?"  That's when I saw the more personal aspect of the message.  Before I saw the person in need, I had been busy trying to bar off a room in which a meeting was being held.  Instead of just closing a door, I believe I was using pool noodles (of all things) to create a fence like closure to the room.  The people having the meeting were those that lead worship at our church.  One of them came up to me and kindly asked me to stop doing what I was doing as it was distracting.

Now, I will have to provide a little bit of background for this to make any sense.  For the past four years or so I have been blessed to play a leadership role on our worship team.  However, this spring I felt the need to step down from that role.  There were many reasons, the biggest one being that my children needed more of me.  I have been struggling for the past month or so with the idea of returning to the team.  Should I?  Do I want to?  Or more importantly, does God want me to?  I could get distracted with a rather long tangent here, so I will just say that this has been a really big battle in my heart.  I've been trying to decipher between desires for myself and God's desires for me.

Through much thought and prayer I was almost ready to conclude that it is not time for me to step back into that role.  However, even writing that is tough for me.  It is something I love to do.  By admitting this truth, it feels like I am closing a door when I'd rather keep it propped open for easy access.  This dream, however, pretty much concluded what I had been hesitant to accept.  God was showing me the flimsy gate which I had erected.  A pool noodle creates a boundary, but not a very good one.  However, as always, God is full of grace.  He may have said no to me, but He also gave me a great vision of why not.  Through the worship leaders reaction, He showed me that I am being distracted by this proverbial door.  That it is keeping me from seeing where I am needed.  The moment I took my eyes off the door and looked out across the horizon I saw where I needed to be.  I also feel that God was showing me a picture of what lay ahead for me.  I don't know for certain if my objective is to rescue people per say, but I do know what He has planned for me is something that will excite me and bring much joy.  In the dream I can recall feeling passionate and thrilled to be helping some one and catching a glimpse of God.  The other thing that brings me joy is that picture of working together.  As I look at the dream from a more personal viewpoint, it's comforting to know that when I can't do something alone, God will send friends to help me succeed.

So, it's official.  I am replacing my pool noodle gate with a real door.  If God wants me to walk through it again one day, He will open it.  I likely would have made this decision before the dream, but now I can do it with joy.  I have been reassured that the things God has planned for me will be far more rewarding to my heart, and presumably to those around me as well.  It's much easier to make a tough decision with the right perspective. Thanks God!