God is so good. So faithful. And, unlike me, He doesn't waste time! After committing, just yesterday, to renewing my relationship with Jesus, I received a fantastic dream with multiple messages.
As I laid in bed trying to soak up the details of my dream, while it was still fresh, I could vividly recall the event of a rescue. I was in a building but turned to look out across a vast landscape. Very far away, I could see a person who appeared to be drowning. They were stuck in a cave like crevice and the waves kept washing over them. I immediately knew I had to go help them. I rushed there as fast as I could. Along the way I saw another person heading in that direction, and another, and another. By the time I reached the drowning victim, there must have been about 15 people there to help. At first I thought, "wow, how many people does it take to help one person?" It soon became clear that no ONE person could provide rescue on their own. The circumstances were such that we had to make a human chain in order to pull this individual out of the water. Upon realizing this, I said to the person, "wow, look at how many people God sent to help you. He really loves you!"
I walked through this dream a few times and heard some great messages. First of all, God sees us when we are "drowning", when we are suffering and in need of help. Not only that, but God sends us exactly what we need, and He knows what we need. He didn't send one person, see that the task needed more and then call for back up. I may have questioned why there were so many people there, but obviously I do not have God's vantage point and knowledge. And although it's a familiar message, I love the reminder that together we can succeed where we may fail on our own.
Just as I was smiling at all the wonderful things God had shown me, I felt a nudge to take a look at the dream again. I was missing something. I heard Him say, "where did it start?" That's when I saw the more personal aspect of the message. Before I saw the person in need, I had been busy trying to bar off a room in which a meeting was being held. Instead of just closing a door, I believe I was using pool noodles (of all things) to create a fence like closure to the room. The people having the meeting were those that lead worship at our church. One of them came up to me and kindly asked me to stop doing what I was doing as it was distracting.
Now, I will have to provide a little bit of background for this to make any sense. For the past four years or so I have been blessed to play a leadership role on our worship team. However, this spring I felt the need to step down from that role. There were many reasons, the biggest one being that my children needed more of me. I have been struggling for the past month or so with the idea of returning to the team. Should I? Do I want to? Or more importantly, does God want me to? I could get distracted with a rather long tangent here, so I will just say that this has been a really big battle in my heart. I've been trying to decipher between desires for myself and God's desires for me.
Through much thought and prayer I was almost ready to conclude that it is not time for me to step back into that role. However, even writing that is tough for me. It is something I love to do. By admitting this truth, it feels like I am closing a door when I'd rather keep it propped open for easy access. This dream, however, pretty much concluded what I had been hesitant to accept. God was showing me the flimsy gate which I had erected. A pool noodle creates a boundary, but not a very good one. However, as always, God is full of grace. He may have said no to me, but He also gave me a great vision of why not. Through the worship leaders reaction, He showed me that I am being distracted by this proverbial door. That it is keeping me from seeing where I am needed. The moment I took my eyes off the door and looked out across the horizon I saw where I needed to be. I also feel that God was showing me a picture of what lay ahead for me. I don't know for certain if my objective is to rescue people per say, but I do know what He has planned for me is something that will excite me and bring much joy. In the dream I can recall feeling passionate and thrilled to be helping some one and catching a glimpse of God. The other thing that brings me joy is that picture of working together. As I look at the dream from a more personal viewpoint, it's comforting to know that when I can't do something alone, God will send friends to help me succeed.
So, it's official. I am replacing my pool noodle gate with a real door. If God wants me to walk through it again one day, He will open it. I likely would have made this decision before the dream, but now I can do it with joy. I have been reassured that the things God has planned for me will be far more rewarding to my heart, and presumably to those around me as well. It's much easier to make a tough decision with the right perspective. Thanks God!
August 31, 2011
August 30, 2011
A Time Of Renewal
Autumn is my favourite season. Beautiful colour changes, cozy sweaters, walks through fallen leaves, the lack of mosquitoes-these are all attributes I appreciate this time of year. And while the earth itself begins to hibernate for a time, I find it to be a season of great renewal for my soul. Every summer I say that I will stay connected with Jesus, I will pick up my Bible daily, I will pray often. I always predict that I will have so much free time to do all these things and more. Yet, every summer, I fail to do so. This year was no different. While I have not left Jesus' side, nor has He left mine, it seems like ages since we had a real conversation. I equate it to an evening at the movies. It's really nice to sit close to your date and feel comforted that you are not alone in the theatre, but it's not a very good relationship building activity.
Typically, as August nears it's end, I'm filled with anticipation for the renewal of that close-knit relationship with Christ. This year has been different though, as the desire came a lot earlier than usual. For the past few weeks the weather has been hot and sunny. I feel I should be on the beach enjoying what little warmth we have left. My mindset, however, is of cozy sweaters, a cup of hot chocolate and some God-centered literature.
The other night I was chatting with Jesus and telling Him how excited I was to feel connected with Him again. Great anticipation overwhelmed me, thinking of how good it is when my heart is so closely linked with Christ's. It was at that moment I received a picture. I was brought back to a memory of my first boyfriend. It was movie night at our school and we were sitting side by side in the gym. I couldn't tell you what movies we watched that day, but I clearly remember the anticipation I felt the entire time, just waiting for him to hold my hand. Finally, as we reached the last ten minutes of the second movie, he took hold, and I was overjoyed. I smiled at the memory and knew right away what God was trying to say to me. The anticipation of a good thing is sweet, but the action is even sweeter. I knew He was suggesting that I should just grab His hand now instead of waiting. After all, wouldn't it be better to enjoy the "hand holding" right away? Why wait?
So, on that note, here I go...
It may be a little premature to bundle up in my wool sweaters, but I'm going for a walk. I'm leaving the movie theatre, grabbing hold of Jesus' hand and we're going to spend time sharing our hearts with each other. I don't have an inkling of what our time together will look like yet, I will let Him be the guide, but I know it will be so sweet and worth the time I give Him. I want to encourage you to do the same. Don't just wait for that moment when it all seems to fall into place, when the time finally seems just right. Wouldn't it be better to be there now?
Typically, as August nears it's end, I'm filled with anticipation for the renewal of that close-knit relationship with Christ. This year has been different though, as the desire came a lot earlier than usual. For the past few weeks the weather has been hot and sunny. I feel I should be on the beach enjoying what little warmth we have left. My mindset, however, is of cozy sweaters, a cup of hot chocolate and some God-centered literature.
The other night I was chatting with Jesus and telling Him how excited I was to feel connected with Him again. Great anticipation overwhelmed me, thinking of how good it is when my heart is so closely linked with Christ's. It was at that moment I received a picture. I was brought back to a memory of my first boyfriend. It was movie night at our school and we were sitting side by side in the gym. I couldn't tell you what movies we watched that day, but I clearly remember the anticipation I felt the entire time, just waiting for him to hold my hand. Finally, as we reached the last ten minutes of the second movie, he took hold, and I was overjoyed. I smiled at the memory and knew right away what God was trying to say to me. The anticipation of a good thing is sweet, but the action is even sweeter. I knew He was suggesting that I should just grab His hand now instead of waiting. After all, wouldn't it be better to enjoy the "hand holding" right away? Why wait?
So, on that note, here I go...
It may be a little premature to bundle up in my wool sweaters, but I'm going for a walk. I'm leaving the movie theatre, grabbing hold of Jesus' hand and we're going to spend time sharing our hearts with each other. I don't have an inkling of what our time together will look like yet, I will let Him be the guide, but I know it will be so sweet and worth the time I give Him. I want to encourage you to do the same. Don't just wait for that moment when it all seems to fall into place, when the time finally seems just right. Wouldn't it be better to be there now?
March 31, 2011
Lost...and found!
For about two months I had been feeling worn out and just plain busy. While it's considered normal for most people (including myself), this time it was somehow different - but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I wasn't unhappy or depressed, however, I did have a lack of desire to pray or do anything extra for anyone else. However, God (knowing me so intimately) knew exactly what was going on in my heart. AND He was gracious enough to name it for me.
The dream that lead to this revelation began with me working in a hair salon. I was doing some one’s colour. I washed it out but for some reason felt I needed to leave the shampoo on for a while. I thought I would take advantage of the time I had while I waited. I went to check up on my children who were in a daycare nearby. I ended up on a bit of a scenic route – walking past various stores, inside and outside.
The middle part of this dream is a little fuzzy, but at some point I picked up my youngest child. I headed back to work with him asleep in the baby carrier. I walked out the gate of a subway station, through one of those one way turn style gates. When I got outside, the fresh air felt great as did the sunshine. It was a beautiful day. A man passing by made a joyful, God related comment to me. I said, “yeah, yay Jesus," while circling my finger halfway in the air – as if to really say, “I don’t care”. The man looked at me, shocked.
Due to my lack of energy and enthusiasm, I almost skipped praying about this dream entirely. However, I chose to be faithful to my promise of approaching all my dreams as possible messages from God. So, I begrudgingly began to talk with Him about it. Right away I heard a message loud and clear. The last part of the dream really spoke to me. I believe what God was trying to show me was that I had lost my passion for Jesus. This is not to be mistaken with a loss of love for Christ - but the great joy and emotional high that comes from loving Him.
The dreamed paralleled well with real life. While I went through the motion of praising God, it was not with joy, excitement or enthusiasm. I remember reacting to the man's look of shock very defensively. I thought, “what? I have a sleeping baby – it’s not like I can jump around!” Praying about that moment, God immediately revealed how faulty my thinking was. I may not have been able to jump in circles, yell and shout, but I could certainly speak with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.
I don't feel that God was showing me this to rebuke or reprimand me in anyway. That would not be in line with His loving and wooing nature. I believe He was graciously naming what I had been feeling, which made it more tangible to deal with. Though I did not stress about it, I began to wonder how I would find that passion again. Was there something I could do to get back on the road where I longed to be? I chose to look forward, instead of searching for the why and how of the circumstance. This is a lesson I learned long ago. While I know there is much value in knowing the path to not take, I have found myself stuck on that road before, trying to trace my steps backwards. So, I set my eyes on the goal and attempted to move toward it.
During these passionless months, I did not stop thinking about Christ, looking to Him or hearing from Him. I am grateful for that. One of the things I felt God was prompting me to do was write a letter to someone. Once again, due to the lack of passion, I put it off, again and again. Then one Sunday God grabbed my attention with a song, "The Wonderful Cross". In particular, these words:
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
I realized that I needed to die to myself once again. Due to the state my heart had found itself in, I was focusing more on me than on Christ. I chose at that moment to shift my gaze back to Jesus - not just half way. That night I sat down, wrote that letter and sent it.
By the evening of the next day, I realized that I was feeling different. I didn't want to jump to any conclusions, but I found myself boldly speaking about God to a friend (which truly surprised me) and my desire for prayer had returned. I felt like staying up all night just to talk with God - about anything. After a week, I felt it was safe to declare that my passion had returned! What joy!
While I can speculate, I still do not know the exact reason for the loss of passion in my life. Perhaps God needed me to write that letter and I had to walk this path to get there. Or maybe the reason was as simple as allowing my gaze slip away from Christ. There is more to the dream that I have not been able to successfully pray through as of yet. I am, however, grateful and delighted that I am once again experiencing that joyous high that comes from loving Christ. I am also thankful that God still spoke to me throughout this small trial. It is so comforting to know that He is there, guiding and speaking to me even when I don't feel like listening. He doesn't give up on me but remains faithful and constant. Thanks God!
The dream that lead to this revelation began with me working in a hair salon. I was doing some one’s colour. I washed it out but for some reason felt I needed to leave the shampoo on for a while. I thought I would take advantage of the time I had while I waited. I went to check up on my children who were in a daycare nearby. I ended up on a bit of a scenic route – walking past various stores, inside and outside.
The middle part of this dream is a little fuzzy, but at some point I picked up my youngest child. I headed back to work with him asleep in the baby carrier. I walked out the gate of a subway station, through one of those one way turn style gates. When I got outside, the fresh air felt great as did the sunshine. It was a beautiful day. A man passing by made a joyful, God related comment to me. I said, “yeah, yay Jesus," while circling my finger halfway in the air – as if to really say, “I don’t care”. The man looked at me, shocked.
Due to my lack of energy and enthusiasm, I almost skipped praying about this dream entirely. However, I chose to be faithful to my promise of approaching all my dreams as possible messages from God. So, I begrudgingly began to talk with Him about it. Right away I heard a message loud and clear. The last part of the dream really spoke to me. I believe what God was trying to show me was that I had lost my passion for Jesus. This is not to be mistaken with a loss of love for Christ - but the great joy and emotional high that comes from loving Him.
The dreamed paralleled well with real life. While I went through the motion of praising God, it was not with joy, excitement or enthusiasm. I remember reacting to the man's look of shock very defensively. I thought, “what? I have a sleeping baby – it’s not like I can jump around!” Praying about that moment, God immediately revealed how faulty my thinking was. I may not have been able to jump in circles, yell and shout, but I could certainly speak with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.
I don't feel that God was showing me this to rebuke or reprimand me in anyway. That would not be in line with His loving and wooing nature. I believe He was graciously naming what I had been feeling, which made it more tangible to deal with. Though I did not stress about it, I began to wonder how I would find that passion again. Was there something I could do to get back on the road where I longed to be? I chose to look forward, instead of searching for the why and how of the circumstance. This is a lesson I learned long ago. While I know there is much value in knowing the path to not take, I have found myself stuck on that road before, trying to trace my steps backwards. So, I set my eyes on the goal and attempted to move toward it.
During these passionless months, I did not stop thinking about Christ, looking to Him or hearing from Him. I am grateful for that. One of the things I felt God was prompting me to do was write a letter to someone. Once again, due to the lack of passion, I put it off, again and again. Then one Sunday God grabbed my attention with a song, "The Wonderful Cross". In particular, these words:
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
I realized that I needed to die to myself once again. Due to the state my heart had found itself in, I was focusing more on me than on Christ. I chose at that moment to shift my gaze back to Jesus - not just half way. That night I sat down, wrote that letter and sent it.
By the evening of the next day, I realized that I was feeling different. I didn't want to jump to any conclusions, but I found myself boldly speaking about God to a friend (which truly surprised me) and my desire for prayer had returned. I felt like staying up all night just to talk with God - about anything. After a week, I felt it was safe to declare that my passion had returned! What joy!
While I can speculate, I still do not know the exact reason for the loss of passion in my life. Perhaps God needed me to write that letter and I had to walk this path to get there. Or maybe the reason was as simple as allowing my gaze slip away from Christ. There is more to the dream that I have not been able to successfully pray through as of yet. I am, however, grateful and delighted that I am once again experiencing that joyous high that comes from loving Christ. I am also thankful that God still spoke to me throughout this small trial. It is so comforting to know that He is there, guiding and speaking to me even when I don't feel like listening. He doesn't give up on me but remains faithful and constant. Thanks God!
January 4, 2011
Hope, Confidence and Excitement
Last week I had a wonderful dream. However, before I prayed about the meaning, it didn't seem so wonderful! Though it was a short vision, it spoke much to me.
The main character in this dream was James. He was telling me about his marriage and how it wasn't going well. He and his wife were even talking about divorce. I was shocked. I hadn't seen it coming at all. As he continued to talk, it was revealed to me that he was actually possessed by a demon. As quickly as the discovery was made, I began to call out the demon in Jesus' name. It didn't take long before I saw this demon leave James, but it did take conviction and confidence on my part. There was a visible change in his face and I knew that the problem had been solved.
When I woke from this dream I was taken aback. I thought about it all day but was having a hard time understanding the message. James is some one I care for very much. He also does not yet consider Jesus a friend. I questioned what I was suppose to do with this dream. Was I suppose to ask James about his marriage? It didn't seem to be under any unusual stress to me. Should I tell him I had a dream? If I mentioned God in any way, I wanted to be on the right track, lest I cause him to stumble further away from the love of our saviour. I mulled and prayed over this dream for days.
I believe it was on day four I received some clarification in which I felt confident. I felt God saying that the picture of marriage was not that of "man and wife", but of "man and Jesus". Then when I asked about the demon, He said that it was a representation of Satan. It was (and is) James' heavenly marriage that is in trouble, not his earthly one. Satan has some how deceived him, thus the demon possession.
I was delighted to finally have some light shed on this puzzling dream, but there was more to be revealed. Why had God sent me this message? What was I to do with it? I had to ask the question, "so what"? I believe that God is asking me to pray for James. Now, I have often prayed for him, but I have also often questioned what good it will do. I must admit that my faith is somewhat lacking in this circumstance. How can my prayers help some one who has trouble seeing with the eyes of his heart? Well, the more I thought about this dream, the more awestruck I was. God asked me to pray for James. That means that He loves this man, is seeking this man, is desiring for this man to love Him back. God asked me to join him in wooing James to Himself. As a result, God also spoke hope into my heart for this man. So, I have committed to praying for James, believing that it is in fact God's plan for my prayers to be successful. However, God has also shown me something else. That He wants me to pray with the confidence and conviction I had when I cast out the demon in that dream.
In the past, when I prayed for James, a bit of hopelessness always seemed to sneak into my heart. Since the revelation of this dream the attitude of my prayers have changed. Now when I pray for this man who is dear to me, I feel great hope and excitement. I think of the day that he learns how much Jesus loves him and how wonderful it will be. I don't know when that day will come, but I feel confident it will happen. God can make it happen, and it seems pretty obvious to me that He wants it to happen.
The main character in this dream was James. He was telling me about his marriage and how it wasn't going well. He and his wife were even talking about divorce. I was shocked. I hadn't seen it coming at all. As he continued to talk, it was revealed to me that he was actually possessed by a demon. As quickly as the discovery was made, I began to call out the demon in Jesus' name. It didn't take long before I saw this demon leave James, but it did take conviction and confidence on my part. There was a visible change in his face and I knew that the problem had been solved.
When I woke from this dream I was taken aback. I thought about it all day but was having a hard time understanding the message. James is some one I care for very much. He also does not yet consider Jesus a friend. I questioned what I was suppose to do with this dream. Was I suppose to ask James about his marriage? It didn't seem to be under any unusual stress to me. Should I tell him I had a dream? If I mentioned God in any way, I wanted to be on the right track, lest I cause him to stumble further away from the love of our saviour. I mulled and prayed over this dream for days.
I believe it was on day four I received some clarification in which I felt confident. I felt God saying that the picture of marriage was not that of "man and wife", but of "man and Jesus". Then when I asked about the demon, He said that it was a representation of Satan. It was (and is) James' heavenly marriage that is in trouble, not his earthly one. Satan has some how deceived him, thus the demon possession.
I was delighted to finally have some light shed on this puzzling dream, but there was more to be revealed. Why had God sent me this message? What was I to do with it? I had to ask the question, "so what"? I believe that God is asking me to pray for James. Now, I have often prayed for him, but I have also often questioned what good it will do. I must admit that my faith is somewhat lacking in this circumstance. How can my prayers help some one who has trouble seeing with the eyes of his heart? Well, the more I thought about this dream, the more awestruck I was. God asked me to pray for James. That means that He loves this man, is seeking this man, is desiring for this man to love Him back. God asked me to join him in wooing James to Himself. As a result, God also spoke hope into my heart for this man. So, I have committed to praying for James, believing that it is in fact God's plan for my prayers to be successful. However, God has also shown me something else. That He wants me to pray with the confidence and conviction I had when I cast out the demon in that dream.
In the past, when I prayed for James, a bit of hopelessness always seemed to sneak into my heart. Since the revelation of this dream the attitude of my prayers have changed. Now when I pray for this man who is dear to me, I feel great hope and excitement. I think of the day that he learns how much Jesus loves him and how wonderful it will be. I don't know when that day will come, but I feel confident it will happen. God can make it happen, and it seems pretty obvious to me that He wants it to happen.
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